rawakramblings

# Mr. presented his thesis this morning, insyaAllah this will be the finale of his Thesis Saga.

# Doctor said I cannot be pregnant for another 3 more months to let my womb heal properly. By then, Aisya will be exactly 2 years old.

# After attending Twins of Faith 2014 last weekend, I'm getting even more thirsty for more knowledge. The iman boost that you get after attending these kind of talks is just awesome! Now, to maintain it.

# I got myself Neelofa's Collagen product - The Bellavita. Tried it for the first time yesterday. Nice smell, awful taste, but managed to swallow it down. Lets see what wonders can this product bring.

# Its funny how other people around me are more concerned about what I'm supposed to eat and what not to eat after a miscarriage. Not too sure if its 'caring' or 'busybody'.

# It has been very easy to out Aisya to sleep these days, alhamdulillah! She also doesn't wake up at night anymore, so I'm actually sleeping throughout the night now.

# Mr. said I should start exercising. I'm probably losing too much weight because I'm unhealthy.

# I'm wearing socks to office today to cover my aurah. I tried this during Ramadhan but didn't last long. Semoga istiqamah this time around.

# I'm seeing even more hikmah (reasons) behind my recent miscarriage. So many! Allah really knows best, masyaAllah.

I've read that there are 3 options in handling miscarriage:

1. Let it happen naturally
2. With the help of Misoprostol Pills - which is also used for abortion
3. Dillation & Curretage procedure (D&C)

"Can I let it happen naturally?" I asked the first time.

"You can. But it will be messy. With lots of blood. You need to be near the hospital in case of anything,". She didn't warned me that it is also painful. I found out this too from some friends and also from the net. It will be like a 6-8hours of contraction & bleeding, even more painful than the usual menstrual pain.

Doctor initially suggested that I put 3 misoprostol pills into the vagina and come back to her clinic the next day and see if my body has expel everything from the womb.

After reading sooo many horror stories on google, I decided that I want to proceed with Option No.3.

Came back to the clinic and was told that even for Option No.3, I still need to put in the pills because my body doesn't seem to be expelling the fetus inside. And the pills helps to loosen the cervix to ease the D & C procedure.

An hour after the pill was in, I felt dizzy and cold. The cramps started. And when I was admitted in the hospital, the nurse confirmed that I have a slight fever. Mind you, I also had to fast, and my last meal was 8pm the night before. "This is normal. Side effect of the misoprostol pills," said the nurse.

And so I waited in bed. I was in pain. But not as painful as my usual menstrual pain, nothing that I couldn't handle. I think if I were to wait another 3 more hours or so, the pain would be stronger. However lucky me that there was a slot an hour later, and so I was brought to the Operating Theater.

My very first time in the OT. I was sooo scared! I didn't know I could be that scared! I've never had any drip before and when I saw them putting this long needle into my hands, I got scared too. Drama I know. But this is my very very first time. I even had thoughts of being awake during the procedure. Yes, drama. I know.

I was put to sleep. The next thing I realized, I was waken up by the nurse, telling me that it's all done. Alhamdulillah!

Vomitted a little. Side effect of the anesthetic it seems. And then I dozed off to sleep.

The next day, doctor did her final check up and said, "Where is it that you said you wanted to go again the other day? Istanbul?"

"No, Vietnam."

"Okay, you can go. You're not bleeding badly. Just make sure you take things slow. Come see me next Tuesday. You will be given MC until you see me then,"

I was told my many friends and relatives to take care and pantang, just like how I'd do after delivering. Doc said I don't have to take it too seriously. Just don't be too extreme in my activities. So I've chose to wear socks the first few days, make sure I keep myself warm. Don't eat anything spicy or sour. Walk slowly. Don't carry anything heavy.

So anyways, here I am, at my mom's place, 2nd day of MC, getting ready for Vietnam. InsyaAllah, it will be a good break from what just happened :)

"The baby's size didn't grow much from the last time. It seems that it has stopped growing…"

"There's no blood vessels coming into the fetus…"

"The heart has stopped beating…."

All the time the doctor was saying this throughout the ultrascan, me and Mr. only said "Oh…ok…ok…"

"Did you fell down?" the doctor asked. "No.." I said.
"Have you been eating well?" she asked again. "Yes, I seem to be eating quite a lot,"
"Ada demam tak?" she asked. "No, doctor,"

"I'm sorry but these kind of early pregnancy miscarriages happens a lot and I really cannot find a definite reason for it happening. It just happens,"

Me and Mr. left the doctor's clinic feeling a little bit devastated and shocked with the news. Although doctor has warned us before (you can read the post here), little did I know that I was going to feel this way.

We spent quite sometime analyzing what went wrong. Maybe its the days that I forgot to eat the vitamins. Maybe its the coffee I take in the morning sometimes. Maybe its the jeruk I had last week. Maybe its that time that I felt backache and very very tired (refer previous post). Maybe its because I carried Aisya. Maybe its that time that Aisya kicked me.

And the reasons can go on and on. The truth is, like the doctor said, miscarriages at this early stage of the pregnancy happens to about 50% of women. Its just a matter of chance. Kun fa ya kun. If He says "Be! and it is!…"

Took the rest of the day off and rest at my mom's home while Mr went back to the office. While having tea, I told her "I'm worried about Mr, he looks like he was really sad. I think I'm quite okay because I didn't really put my hopes high,"

Little did I know that I was actually holding back my tears. When he came back from the office and we were on our way back home, I suddenly cried… and cried and just kept on crying. He hugged me and cried too.

"Allah knows best dear,"

"I know. I just didn't expect to feel this sad. I thought I was mentally prepared,"

But the truth is, who can REALLY be THAT prepared?

I know Allah only tests us with challenges that He knows we can bear. I have the strongest salute to other mothers who have gone through worst than me. You are definitely much stronger than me and can handle bigger challenges from Allah.

Ya Allah, syukur…I'm grateful that you still love us, and challenge us to remind us of who is in power. I'm grateful that you took my baby's life at this early stage of the pregnancy, before we started putting even more hopes. I'm grateful that we have Aisya, our first child, healthy and smart. There's reasons (hikmah) on why this happen and Allah knows best.

I felt much much better after crying and we went to have some ice cream last night. With this little cutie who doesn't fail to make us laugh.




Today, doctor have schedule d&c for me, to remove and clean the fetus from my womb. InsyaAllah today will be a better day for all of us.

Inalillahi Wainailahi Rojiun - "Surely we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return"

A week to go until I'm 3 months preggy, oh my, time flies! Suddenly I'm left with another 6 more months to pop!

Last night, Mr. was away for his office project lesson learnt event in Port Dickson. So I decided to stay over my parents place in Subang. My father wanted to get a haircut in Pyramid and I decided to tag along.

After walking around for about 30 minutes or so, suddenly I felt tired. My tummy started feeling stretched. I was breathless. Felt pain in my pelvic area. Looked down and saw that my tummy was already starting to show. And then, I told myself, "Ahh.. pregnancy. Almost forgot how it felt like,"

Sat down. Relaxed a little. Told myself to take it slow.

Didn't expect to be that exhausted at a very early stage of the pregnancy. Need to ensure that I have enough supplements!

When I first received the email on this 'Mental Health Illness' forum that will be conducted by my company, I was shocked to see the fact that 1 in 4 people are affected by this illness. The first thing that came out of me my mouth was "Come on, is that right? 1 in 4??" and this was in a meeting room, just before project discussion was about to start. To my disbelief, two of supervisors actually acknowledged that they actually have depression.

"It's pretty normal laa.. .Its just that sometimes, people don't know that they're having it,"

"You will sometimes feel like shutting the world around you and just curl up in bed alone and just stay there,"

"Your kids don't even know this, but sometimes you just SHUT down and just ignore them,"

"I got high blood because of depression, my doctor advice me that I should have some more ME-time,"

I was shocked. There they were, in front of me, two supervisors that I've been working a lot together lately, and it never hit me that THEY, out of all the people I know, actually go through depression.

"But you guys look happy! And you're always smiling!"

Fact No.1 I learned today in the forum: Sometimes those who smile the most, are the ones who hurt the most on the inside. People can just wear a mask and smile, but no one knows what's deep inside of them.

So anyways, today I learned more about the illness after attending the forum. Actually, more reminders than facts. The workplace can really be the main contributor to stress and stress is the main factor in mental health illness. Money is never enough, position and power never seem to be a satisfaction, expectations - from oneself and from others - are not met. It seems that we always want more than what we have.

Different people will have different ways in coping with stress. We need to know our best way to deal with it. I know exercise helps, although not always the case for me, but it does give you that positive spirit. Solat - that five times a day in between your daily activities - that will help too. Solat on time - just like how Allah has planned it well for you and insyaAllah those breaks in between can help you de-stress.

I personally think that the word 'stress' shouldn't be used often. People start their complaints with the word 'stress' even when they don't mean it. "Stress laaa.... yadda yadda yadda..." Naturally, you will get yourself even more stressed than you were before.

Contentment. Something that we must all learn. In other words, bersyukur! Allah has given you so much, why are you still complaining? Look at others who are less fortunate than you. Don't keep comparing yourself with those who are better. Because you know what? There will ALWAYS be people who are better and less fortunate than you.

There was this one time, the speaker asked, "How many of you here are happy?" and not many raised their hands. Its either they were too shy to do so or they were really unhappy. When he asked that question, there were no doubt that my answer is yes. I am happy, I don't see any reason not to be. Of course not everything goes my way, not everything as planned, I'm not really carrying out my responsibility well, I'm not meeting up expectations (a lot of them, actually) but I am, happy.

"Life is wonderful," as how Jason Mraz says it.

You just gotta make the best out of it.

Do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life,

Such an inspiring quote. Making me question even more of what my plan is for the future. 

I now that I should be contributing something to the society with what I do but somehow I don't feel like I'm achieving that with working in this corporate world. The office politics and games, the monopoly of employee... they all just don't feel right. I just feel very strongly that I need to work on something that I am passionate about, something that has a meaning!

Or maybe, its that availability of options to choose from.

Life is too short to waste it on "What Ifs.."... I'll be turning 28 soon, with one young kid and another one coming insyaAllah, so its the perfect time to take risks, before even bigger commitments come along the way. And hey, I'm ONLY 28.. there's just sooo much more that can happen along the way! You wouldn't know if you don't try.

And reading this TOMS book every night before I sleep, just gets to me..like Grrrrrr!



I've been making some duas so that Allah makes it easier for me to decide and show me the right way. When the right time comes, I need to get rid of the fear and have faith.

I have a dream. I have a plan. And it feels like I'm getting closer to achieving it. InsyaAllah.

During the first check-up

2nd Checkup- EDD 19th June 2015

It has been 5 nights since the last success story of weaning off Aisya. She still remembers sometimes and still comes up to me and say "Aww..Aww... See?" (Asking if she can see). And everytime I have to tell her that it is painful and then she forgets about it. Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for making this much easier for both of us.

Anyways. You know what's an even awesome story to share? My girl who wakes up 2-3 times every night is now sleeping through the night! She sleeps at 9-9.30pm and wakes up around 7-8am in the morning..all the way! No waking up! Its just that the first few mornings, she would wake up crying looking a bit loss because usually she wakes up nurse straight away with mummy. So I had to cool her down and distract her.

But this morning, was different. She woke up at around 6.20am, and straight away sat down and pointed to the door and said "Air...Air..." (water). So I carried her out to the kitchen and filled up a glass with water. Gulp..Gulp..Gulp.. she was drinking lots of water! Must be very thirsty! Then she showed her bottle and said "Susu!"(milk)

I boiled some water and put 3 spoons of powdered milk into her bottle. All the time she was just looking at me, patiently waiting. Then after I poured the boiled water into the bottle, she said "Air...Susu! Air...Susu!" and took the leftover from the glass of water earlier, wanting to pour it into the bottle. How does she even know this?, I wondered. I poured some room-temperature water into her bottle and when it was all ready, she clapped her hands and shouted "Yayyyyy!"

After finish drinking 5 ounce of milk she looked at me and said "Mimi...yakkkk" while showing her pampers. She still cannot tell between business No.1 and No.2 so I checked and realized that her diaper was heavy..so I changed her.

After that, she smiled, glad that all her morning problems are solved. Turned on Disney Junior and I woke Mr. up for Fajr prayers.

Just after Fajr prayers, I had a moment, just looking at my child watching the tv, and again being reminded that she is growing up a little too fast. I'm happy and proud that she knows what she wants and say it but it also tells me that she's slowly being independent and that one day she doesn't need her mummy anymore *criesssss..okay mummy being dramatic*

On another note, alhamdulillah, today Aisya managed to wake us up just the right time for Fajr instead of our usual last minute prayers.

Aisya sleeping through the night, mummy FINALLY gets her 8hrs of sleep at night, performing fajr prayers on time...It was a good start to our day :)

Cheerful Aisya earlier this morning.

Sorry to dear men as this post will be a little too personal for you to read, you may choose to not continue reading it but if you're a husband who wants to help your wife in weaning off, sorry for too many boobies talk ya ;)

Success! Success! Success!

Syukur alhamdulillah.....!

Such a relief! No screaming. No crying. No tantrums.

Yesteraday, after talking to some other breastfeeding mummies in my office, I texted Mr. and said "Okay tonight, leave it to me. I'm going to try something else..."

After dinner + desserts, we arrived home around 9pm. Mr. brought back a toy car for Aisya tonight so she was excitedly playing it with her other yellow school bus and black range rover. I took some nescafe powder and made a paste out of it. Went into the toilet and put the paste all around nipple area.

(It turns out that the night before, I was using powder so of course she didn't really taste the coffee and kept on drinking!)

I went out and said "Aisya.. come here, mummy needs to tell you something,"

She looked at me. Then I pulled up my top and she got excited. Then I showed her my breast and said to her "Aisya, look... mummy pain..mummy aww..." Then her excited look changed to disgusted. Her 20 months best-friend is now all black and ugly.

"Aww....aww..." she said slowly and cluelessly. Then she held my top and close it back..and said "Aww..." Then she ran away and continued playing with some other toys.

Many times after that, she came over to me and said "Awww? Aww?" and then pulled my shirt and when I showed her again, she said "Oo...awww...." and continued playing again. She even pat my face (eventhough it felt more like a push haha)

Then when it was time to sleep, she went restless. Such a pity! Usually I would say "Okay. .time to sleep!" and she'll go to her sleeping area and pull my hand and I will nurse her to sleep. This time around, she pulled my hand to her sleeping area, she laid down and then suddenly remembers that "aww" and then she stood back up again.. running around aimlessly. She pulled my hand out of the room, asking to watch cartoon, and then suddenly asking to be carried, and then ran around, and kept on scratching her head, yawning, rubbed her eyes....she was just lost. Kesian sangat...

But she didn't asked for milk.. at all! She understood that her mummy was in pain but she didn't know how to sleep! (I've read somewhere that learning to sleep is actually a skill that kids need to learn without assistance from parents). So after about 30 mins or so, I picked her up and brought her out to the balcony and hum Barney's I Love You.. about 5mins later, she dozed off to sleep, without wanting to be nursed!  I felt soooo happyyy!

I prayed for a smooth night as I knew that she will wake up again later. At around 2am, she walked to our bed, asking for milk. I then told her that "Mummy awwww" and she just looked at me and then she laid her head next to me and fell asleep again. Alhamdulillah.

Then at 5am, she woke up again, this time sounding restless, and so I thought that maybe she was hungry. Mr went to make her milk and pass it back and she resisted. She put her hands under my top and got some nescafe paste on her hands and decided not to drink.

Then I had to bring her out and watch some cartoon while she doze off to sleep again. She was restless and lost but she didn't know what to do. All I could do was just entertain her and kept on distracting her and tried my best to make her happy.

This morning on the way to send her to my mom's, she pulled my shirt wanting some milk and I said "Mummy awww" and she understood right away and just continued playing with her Barney CD.

I need to try this again for the next few night and insyaAllah she will just get over it after a week.

Sometimes you forget that your child has grown up and can understand situations and feelings. She didn't even get to taste the bitterness of the nescafe! Just letting her understand that her mummy is in pain helps. Or maybe the disgusted look of the nipple hahaha.

After the tiring episode during the 1st night, we've decided to try out a different method.

Aisya fell asleep in the car on the way back from Subang Parade, so putting her to sleep was not a problem.

"Okay so tonight, I will sleep outside ok?," I told Mr. We discussed a little bit more on how to tell her that I'm not home and I'm away etc. 10pm.

At 12.30 am, I heard her cry. "Okay, she's up, bismillah...". Her cries went really really crazy this time around. She was screaming loudly, banging on the door numerous times..and it hurts me really bad to just sit still and listen to all that.

After about 10 minutes, Mr. called me and whispered for me to go out of the house. He will be bringing Aisya out to prove that mummy is not around. I, on the other hand, stayed at the balcony, listening to the traffic sound of the Federal Highway.. which was quite okay as I cannot hear her cry. Mr called my phone and told me to speak to Aisya..so I told her "Sorry Aisya, mummy needs to work.. Aisya go watch cartoon k.." and she heard me saying that and then suddenly screamed and screamed even louder. Oh myyy....*criessss*

I stayed for another 10 minutes or so and I slowly went back in. Everything is back quiet, alhamdulillah. I went back to the sofa bed and tried to sleep back. And then suddenly another scream woke me up! 2am! She's awake again. Banging on the doors loudly. This time around I couldn't take it anymore. I quickly tried the other method that was a little bit euwww...I put some coffee on my breast and went straight to the room.

She saw me and rightaway kept quiet and laid her head on my shoulder. And then she started crying again, showing me the bed, asking me to sleep. I tried to distract her from the breast but that didn't work. She was already throwing tantrums (something that I've been controlling and never seen her doing so.. this episode managed to leash the tantrum in her...argh!)
So I gave in, hoping that she'll reject the bitter taste of nescafe. Surprisingly, she just kept on drinking! Nescafe susu kot!

Method No.2 - FAILED!

After she went back to sleep, me and Mr. were discussing in bed..What were we thinking? That our kid was stoooopid?? Of course she knows her mummy is around. Its at night! She KNOWS which is why she was rebelling and screaming. And the other problem with this method is that even after a week of us sleeping seperately, she will still remember the breast when I come to sleep back with her. This method definitely is not recommended for toddlers. Babies yes, but definitely not toddlers. They're too smart.

This morning, she woke up, and smiled and hugged me. Which was very very comforting, knowing that after all of that 'torturing', she still loves me *dramatic mummy*.  However, I really miss her in the office today, feeling very very bad for making her cry so badly...*even more dramatic mummy*



I've talked to some other mummies today and I will be trying something else tonight. Wish me luck!

We've decided to wean off Aisya.

So tonight, when she woke up, hoping to nurse back to sleep, I had to tell her that "you're a big girl now" and she just kept on crying and crying. It was a battle. She kept on pulling my top and pushing away her bottle and I had to keep on distracting her with her favourite youtube clips, singing to her itsy bitsy spider and carrying her around the house to rock her back to sleep. Finally after 2 hours, she finally gave in. She showed her bottle and said "susu...". She drank all 5ounce and went back straight to sleep. Fuhhhh.

All throughout the 2 hours, it breaks my heart seeing her cry because as hard as this is on her, it is hard on me too. 20 months of nursing her had created a bond that only another
nursing mother would understand. It feels like a break-up. I will definitely miss the moments.

Everywhere people tell you the good side of breastfeeding but no one warns you that weaning off is THIS hard! Or is it just me?

I hope and pray that tomorrow night would be a better night, may Allah ease it for both of us.

It has been two nights straight that Aisya sleeps at 9pm and wakes up around 8am. But last night, she decided to wake up around 10pm and walked aimlessly out of the room and joined me and Mr watch 'Kusinero Cinta' on Astro Mustika... still in that sleepy mode.

And then, she started reading and asking for the cheesecake that I was enjoying..Back in my head, "What? Cheesecake late at night? Not for you!" but then again my heart was saying...'Awww... she wants some cake..." and so I fed her some. Until she grabbed away my spoon and fed herself even more cheesecake and not giving me back!

A few weeks back...

After that, she got excited and then started taking the flashcards on the floor and blubbering some baby language that I dont understand and then she took her animal book and called Mr. to read to her. She pulled my hand into her playroom and started drawing on the blackwall. And then played with her car and some other toys and then after quite some time, I started yawning...."Aisya.. okay.. its sleeping time.."

She usually gets it. And she will run straight to her mattress and lie down. But last night, she didn't want to. She grabbed Mr's hands and asked him to join her too.

I gave up. I said "Ok, Goodnight." and left the two of them playing.

This has happened a few times before actually. Sometimes she wakes up at 3 or 4am, inviting us to play with her; watch cartoon or read a book and we will take turns in doing that.

I'm not sure how long after that but suddenly Aisya climbed up onto out bed, and pulled my top, asking to nurse. Yes, that's a sign that she wants to sleep. I usually nurse her to sleep. And so while she was halfway asleep, I said "I think it's the cheesecake," and Mr said,

"No dear... she misses us. She wants to play with us. The past two nights, she just spent a lot of time with us over the weekend but tonight, she misses us,"

And then.. I went to sleep thinking about all those times that she's been waking us up, and the limited amount of time we spend with her throughout weekdays..that un-explainable feeling; I feel bad. But then again, that's just how it is with working parents. Which is why we try our best to make time for her in the evening after work and also during the weekend and plan for holidays - to make up for the lost time.

Morning walk we had last week at the Subang Lake

But is that really how its supposed to be done? You can't get everything, right? Some say, quality is better than quantity? Its not about how much time you spend, but how you spend that limited time you have. Is it so?

Its events like this that motivates me more in making our business grow. That HOPE of having the flexible family time, not MORE time.. but FLEXIBLE time. Please make dua for us.

Aisya's first flight experience - Sydney May 2013

Ever since Aisya was 3 months-old, she has been on a number of flights. Our recent trip to Jakarta sums up to a total of 9 trips  (18x experience onboard with return flights). These days, I've been getting a lot of questions like 'how is it like travelling when Aisya was 3 months', 'how do you make sure she doesn't cry' and 'how do you get her to sit still at 18 months' etc...and after all the repetitions of answering the same questions I thought, Hey! Maybe some others can benefit from this too!

Mummies and daddies. You know that 'ear block' you feel everytime the plane takes off and lands? Well, babies feel them too. AVOID it before it happens. Equalize their ears just before the plane takes off. HOW?

Nurse them or feed them milk (either breastfeeding or bottlefeeding). When they suck, it helps to equalize the pressure in their ears. During our trip to Sydney when Aisya was 3 months, I had to keep her a little hungry just before taking off, so I timed her feeding time to make sure that just before taking off, she will be hungry to be fed and doesn't reject. Keep on nursing her until the plane is at its flying level (tip: when the seatbelt signal is switched off). Do the same when landing; i.e when the captain announces "Flight attendents, please be ready for landing..."..

IF your baby is uncomfortable (some babies are a little bit more fussy) and chooses to cry... let her cry. Because crying can help in equalizing the ears. Just ignore those around you with their judgemental eyes. Once the plane reaches its flying level, go on and soothe her. Nurse her. Rock her. She will be fine. However, do note that this can be avoided if you start equalizing her ears earlier and not wait until she gets uncomfortable.

Daddy gave her dutch lady milk during take-off and landing

When Aisya was slightly bigger, about 8 months, she gets a little picky so if its not time for milk, she doesn't want milk. I let her drink water from her water bottle instead.  Another option is, use the pacifier. I tried the pacifier with Aisya when she was 8 months, however she thinks its a toy that she sucks once or twice and throws it around and puts it in her daddy's mouth instead....*pffttttt*

If you have the choice, choose a night flight. That is the best time to travel as they will just sleep all the way.....

Bring toys or any form of entertainment onboard the flight. When Aisya was about 1+ years old, during our trip to Bali, we brought books (oh she loves books and can sit still for a long time with books) and also our ipad so she had the option to also play games or watch some cartoons from the ipad. Of course, at that age of  'oh i have feet i can walk now', they will get agitated at one spot so walk her along the aisle and let her play with those friendly flight attendants onboard - they're somehow very good with kids! (or maybe trained to be one)

Our latest trip to Jakarta, we brought colouring books for Aisya and that kept her entertained. However this time around, it was a bit hard to get her to drink water/milk during take-off and landing and she's at that age of expressing everything that she feels.. you know what she decided to do? She just shouted as we took off.. not those screams but like calling-a-friend-from-a-long-distance kinda shout and I just let her be. Of course I got those stares, but hey, do you wanna take over and solve the problem? And its only for a while. By the time the plane reaches its cruising altitude, she's back to normal.




At this age, she is also at that stage of mimicking what her parents do, so I say "Aisya do this" - while opening my mouth big - hoping that her ears will pop but I don't even know if that works, haha. I will try again this next trip to the Philippines next month.

If you can, choose a seat that you can get all 3 seats for yourself. For airasia, what we usually do is choose a seat A and C and HOPE that no one takes seat B - usually no one will take it unless its a full flight. So Aisya gets a seat to herself. Another tip, move to any other empty areas when everyone is already settled, away from the crowd, so your child have the freedom to move around without bothering others.

Flight to Bali

The TRICK is to always keep your child comfortable - equalize her ears (MOST IMPORTANT), bring her favourite toys or books or cartoon shows, talk to her, make jokes, keep her entertained, let her see the plane take off, show her the clouds outside, draw and colour with her, play games....of course the best solution is to let her sleep.... yes, then mummy and daddy can rest too ;)

Me and Mr are in this new spirit to start waking up early. Because we believe that that should be the right islamic way. We usually sleep late settling Zaahara's work. So instead, we try to: Sleep early, wake up early, tahajjud, do Zaahara work in the morning, solat subuh and then start preparing for the day.

Of course when I say 'we' here, I mean, the both of us. However it seems that Mr. has been the more productive one with this new routine. For the past 2 weeks, he's been waking up early and even going to the mosque for his Fajr prayers and read t Quran - masyaAllah where does he get this strength from? I can only wake up 30mins earlier than my usual time and always 'half-awake' walking to the bathroom to take my wudhu'. And I always say, "Aisya bangun banyak kali semalam... tak cukup tido... tak larat nak bangun," when he wakes me up. Excuses!

Nevertheless, I still manage to wake up earlier than my usual time and alhamdulillah, my mornings haven't been that chaotic. Today, we manage to have some breakfast together and by 8.30 sharp, I'm already at my desk.

This is all thanks to this inspiring article here. She makes it sound so possible!

Hmm... if only there's coffee shops that open as early as 6am, kan layan? Can have my cuppa latte early in the morning instead of those at nights. Hmm but lattes in Malaysia are soooo overpriced! I miss Sydney. Mamak, nescafe tarek satu!

Image from: myworld-natalie.blogspot.com

Being a mom, you're always at that crossroads between two thoughts:

1. Should I be staying home and focus on bringing up my child?
2. Should I be working instead?

No matter which path we choose, we will always be questioning whether the grass is greener on the other side. You know why? Because we have a CHOICE. Being the breadwinner is not our main responsibility, so at the back of our head, there will always be that "What if?" At the same time, most of us NEED to work to survive - but at the same time, we know that we have the rights to just quit one day as compared to the man of the family. So we work everyday, thinking, "I'll quit one day...." Haha.

I don't blame all these articles I see people sharing on Facebook on Working Mom vs Stay-At-Home-Mom, because all moms are just indirectly voicing out their 'what ifs'...and yes, beacuse I'm a mom, I get it, and so do all moms out there.

Despite the many reasons moms choose their paths (high monthly commitment, career path, comfortable lifestyle, focus on children upbringing, childcare trust issues, etc.) there will always, always be that slight 'guilt' or 'what if' in them... kesian kan? Like there's no right decision.

Image from: cagle.com

Here's a pic of us (including cranky Aisya who just got up from sleep) after dinner with Tante Debby from Jakarta at Hadramawt Restaurant in Jalan Ampang.