rawakramblings

When showing affection in relationships, men can generally be divided into:
1. Men with Actions
2. Men with Words

I have dated both kind of men and both has its pros and cons.

Men with Actions.
This kind of men shows their feelings through their actions. They hold your hands (if can, all the time!), they give you gifts, they appear at your doorstep for breakfasts, they bring you out for dates, throw you unexpected surprises, wakes you up in the morning. BUT, they rarely express their feelings. They don’t tell you how much you mean to them, and if so, maybe on occasions. You will rarely get compliments from them. They don’t tell you that they’re hurt or they’re jealous but they show it to you. When they’re angry, they show it by being cold towards you. Or by crossing their arms. When they’re happy, they show it by hugging you. Or by giving you kisses. They believe that by calling us up, it shows that they miss us. And they don’t say it. Most of the time, you will have to ask them on how they feel.

I noticed also, that these kind of men, have more of the testosterone hormones. They’re the macho ones, who find expressing feelings, a sissy thing to do. They usually have more brothers in their family, and are usually much closer to their dads.

Because these kind of men rarely express their feelings, when we tell them our feelings, they take it deeply. They remember every promises we make, they take our words seriously. Never say something you don’t mean, just because it sounds nice, they’ll take it straight to their hearts.

Men with Words
These are the kinds of men that expresses their feelings when in relationships. They're the sweet-talkers. Yes, who says sweet-talkers cannot be in serious relationships? :p

From the start, men with words, woo you through their words. Throughout the relationship, they do the same. They tell you that you look pretty, that you’re the most amazing girl in the world, and that you’re his princess. Sometimes they mean it, sometimes they don’t. But even when they don’t mean it, it’s always nice to hear, haha. They will call you up just to say that they love you, or that they miss you. But they will not be calling you often. Don’t expect them to make handmade cards for you, or propose you in the most romantic way. Don’t expect many surprises from them, because they will surprise you unexpectedly – in their cutest way. They tell you when they’re angry/hurt/jealous, they say sorry (this is precious), they send you random sweet text messages.

Because these kind of men rarely show their affection through actions, when you do something for them, it means the world to them. Even picking them up for a random supper session would mean something to them! Don’t bother so much in telling them that you love them more than the seas and the higher than the skies because they take words lightly. Vice versa; don’t put high hopes in their sweet promises.

As opposed to men with actions, these kind of men are usually very close to their mums. They usually have more sisters. No, they’re not sissy, but they are usually soft-hearted, manja, and has a reasonably amount of ego.

It’s not about which type of men loves us more or which ones are better. They just have different ways in showing their love. I think it's important to know your type of men, in order keep a considerable expectation and also to know the key in winning their hearts ;)

When dating a man with actions, his random ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ would mean a lot to us. On the other hand, when dating a man with words, his random simple actions of ‘buying you ice-cream’ or ‘writing you a note’ means a lot. Like I said, both has its pros and cons.

So, which one is yours? Which type do you prefer? I have chosen mine and so far, still learning to adapt to expectations and loving the 'randoms' :D

There is never a perfect relationship. There is never a two perfect person for each other. In any relationships, no matter how similar the partners are to each other, there will always be differences.

Each person is brought up differently by their parents; taught different values and go through different life experiences. All these, characterized an individual and make them who they are. Thus there are no such two individuals that will share the same principles,thinking or characteristics; not even any two siblings.

They say the first 3 months of a relationship, is called the honeymoon period. Some say its the first year of the relationship. During this phase, we seem to cherish all these differences. We stick to the saying that 'opposite attracts' and we laugh and joke at our differences. "At least, you're teaching me something new," we claim.

It is usually between that after that honeymoon period that we start realizing how these differences might interest us or quite the opposite, might start to irritate or annoy us. That is when tolerance come in place.

Couples survive relationships because they tolerate and sacrifice for each other. The minute you are selfish, and you start thinking of yourself, that is when you break up or divorce and go seperate ways.

You get to know a person, you start dating them, and then you start noticing the differences or the characters that irritate you. You tolerate some of them; the ones that you can bare with. And when you just cannot bare with any of his/her characteristics, because it is affecting your relationship and your emotions (i.e; him being too over-protective or her being a shopaholic for instance) you break up, date others and see if the next relationship might work out. The question here is, where is the limit? When do you decide that "I don't think this can work out anymore, not with this issue," When??


Because you see, when all these minor issues are manageable, you may decide to get married. Sometimes, you may decide to get married because you love your partner very much, and that you're willing to put the differences aside, no matter how big they are. When that happens, a whole new relationship starts all over again. New characters may appear. This time around, a much higher tolerance is needed.

In Islam, any married couple must put their 200% effort to make their marriage work as divorce is very much hated by Allah. So don't keep on living in denial and move on to marriage, when you know deep inside, that the relationship is too chaotic to work out well.

However bare in mind, that the decision to get married in the first place, is a gamble. There's no turning back. People change upon marriage. Thus, be choosy if you want to, then take your pick and enjoy the ride. Then on, don't forget du'a (doa) and prayers. With prayers insyaAllah, marriage becomes a hope. A hope of building a joyful family with your loved one, and go through whatever obstacles that may pass.

Some may choose to keep on looking until they've found the one that they know they can tolerate living the rest of their life with. Some may decide to get married to the one that they really love, and then learn to manage the differences later on in life. Whichever way, we cannot run away from having tolerances and sacrifices in relationships. If you choose to think of yourself, you might end up alone.