rawakramblings

Many times we tell ourselves that "Yes, I Can," as a way to motivate ourselves to be better. But little did I know that this is only a small part of us conquering our own minds.

I used to tell my dad, "I don't think I'm that good at Additional Maths subject, I don't seem to be scoring it like others do," and back then he told me that, "Look! Saying that, means you are already telling your mind that you are not good. You are already setting a wall in your mind, a blockage,". I never really understood it, I mean, Hello? Why can't I complain that I'm not good? Am I suppose to say that I'm good at everything even when I'm not? Hellooo?

But you know what, we have the capability to trick our mind. Success is about conquering the mind. This is something that I just realized these past week, thanks to the IMKK seminar by Dr Azizan that I attended and also by discussing further with my father-in-law.

We all know that our brain has waves:

1. Beta Wave - The Waking Consciousness 
This is the heightened state of alertness, the state when you are walking and talking, the state when you're awake. Its most important for effective functioning throughout the day. The Beta wave has voices; the nagging inner voice that gives reasoning and logical thinking to every situation you go through out the day.

2. Alpha Wave - The Deep Relaxation Wave 
This is the time that your subconcious mind takes over the brain. It happens when you are relaxing, or when you're just about to sleep or during light meditation. Do you know that this is the time that you can program your mind for success?

3. The other two waves are the Theta & Delta Waves - which are the state the brain goes into when sleeping and during deep sleep. Not so important here as I would like to share about the Beta & Alpha wave.

The ALPHA WAVE. The time when you are in that relaxed mode, is the best time that you can program your mind on what you want. This is also the strongest connection you can have with Allah, in telling Him your heart desires.

Some of the times that you brain gets into the alpha mode is through:

1. Solat (Salah)

If you read the book 'Think & Grow Rich' by Napolean Hill, or if your ask any psychologists, one of the ways to get your mind into the subconcious state is by breathing in deeply, hold your breath for 4 seconds and then breathe out again. Do you know that to achieve khusyukness (focus) during solat is to breathe in and out this way just before you start solat and also just before each sentences of reciting your surahs.

By doing this, you will get your mind into the Alpha state, and shut down all the voices from the Beta wave; you know, those voices of logical thinking and reasoning? Focus on Allah. And then right after your salaam, recite your prayers (du'a), while still in that state. Feel that connection that you have with Him.

The same can be applied to Zikir & reading the Quran. Breathe in deeply, hold for 4 seconds, and breathe out again. Feel that connection. Instead of praying just because you have to pray, and read the Quran just because you have to.. and keep on looking for that 'feeling' of connection. Ask Him all that you want, tell Him that you want that job position, that you want to score that particular exam, that you want a child, be specific! When do you want it? What is the score that you want? Which position? Which car model? Which year? Don't just say success, it can mean different things to different people.

When you first start practicing this, be patient with yourself. It takes time for your mind to get used to this.

2. Before sleeping & upon waking up

This is also why its sunnah for you to recite do'a just before sleeping and after waking up. Set your mind on what you want before you sleep, make do'a to Allah and do the same upon waking up.

This situation is also good for parents to shape up their children's characters. Just before they sleep, you know when they're in that dreamy zone, say positive things to them, tell them that they're smart and intelligent, that they're good muslims and muslimahs, that they will be nice to others. You can do the same to your partners too! Tell your husband "You're a good muslim, you're a good husband," and tell your wife "You're beautiful, you will have beautiful children," etc.

3. During shower

Do you realize how your mind comes up with splendid superb ideas when you're having a shower? I feel that all the time! That sometimes I just open up the door and shout a random idea to Mr. so that I will not forget it when I'm out.  Tell yourself positive things during this time. Even affirmative things to yourself, even when you haven't achieved it.

It seems that water has a strong purification power that it puts you into a relaxed state. Which is why sometimes when you're stressed out, you feel much better after your bath. Which is also why we take wudhu', to get ourselves prepared to face the alpha state.

4. When drinking water.

Just like the point before, water helps in getting yourself into the alpha state. That short duration of time when you drink water, talk to your brain.

5. During orgasm

This may be a little too private for those unmarried couples, but orgasm is indeed the highest state of the subconscious mind that you can reach before falling into the next wave. During that peak time of sex, ensure that you imagine having a good child, imagine if it is a girl or a boy, imagine how cute he/she is. Imagine your success story, who will be there beside you, where will you be in 5-10 years time. Imagine and believe it.

There are also other ways like listening to music and doing yoga. Google and you'll find out more.

Psychologists say that in order for you to change a habit, or in order for your mind to believe what you tell them, you have to repeatedly tell yourself the same dream for 44 days. According to my father-in-law, in Islam, its 40 days. I'm not too sure the magical story behind 40 days. He says its in the Quran. I will have to understand more from him.

Print out pictures of your dreams. Write them out. FEEL your dream, go and test drive that car that you've always wanted, or visit that house that you want to buy, try your best to feel it so that the imagination becomes stronger.

Many people can imagine but underestimate the power of the mind. You think you can only achieve so and so when the truth is, you can stretch your mind to imagine more than you think you can. Imagine the impossible. Your mind will do the magic, your body will automatically just follow your mind. Conquer your mind. Learn to shut out that voices in your head that tell you that you cannot, telling you that its impossible. Stop whining and stop telling yourself "Why can't I do this, why am I so unlucky'

These are some of the things that are explain in Western books like 'Think & Grow Rich', 'The Power of Your Subconcious Mind', 'The Secret' . But little did I know that many of our everyday Islamic practices can already help us getting what we want, provided we understand how to and why is it that we do what we do. Islam IS the way of life. There's just so many secrets that you need to unlock! You'll be surprised!

You know how we've been taught to 'Usaha, Doa & Tawakal'? I now learn that you should 'Doa, Usaha & Tawakal,'. Set your mind right, then work towards it and then insyaAllah, you will get what you want.

If not, like I always said, Allah Knows Best.

Now I wonder, why didn't anyone tell me this before this? Come to think of it, actually my father did, and so did Mr. but I chose not to listen, only believing part of it, and another part of me being skeptical, saying 'How is that possible?'

Conquer your mind. Imagine the impossible. And go and achieve it.

One more week till my last day here in this company! #countingdays

I've been getting a lot of remarks on how happy I look as the date is nearer. My face lights up during conversations. I smile and laugh often. "Does it feel like a huge stone is removed from your head? Does it feel lighter?" To be honest, I do not notice any of these. But whatever, its good right? Maybe its the positive aura .. ceh ceh. 

Its funny how the person who is most affected that I'm leaving the company is my beloved husband. We've been in the same office ever since before we got married!

During our drive to and back from office, he will say sentimental statements like "I can't believe I'll be driving alone later on.." "I'm gonna miss our times..." "Who's gonna have lunch with me?".
As if I'm going off outstation or something #sweetgitu.

#countingdays

I grew up with my parents making the word MALAS (lazy) a taboo. Never ever say the word MALAS even if you are lazy. Sigh a little, but don't say the word.

I never understood why its such a bad word, we're not even cursing!

Just like any other teenager, I rebelled a little. I started using MALAS when I was in Sydney, always giving excuses NOT to do certain things.

"Malas laa nak gi kelas..."

"Malas laa nak pegi event tu..."

"Malas laa nak keluar, sejuk laaaa,"

Little did I know that this has become apart of me now. Most of the time, I give excuses not to attend events just because I'm tired - what a ridiculous reason is that. I choose to procrastinate; delaying errands that can be done today to the next day just because I'm lazy.

I realized that I've missed out a lot due to this selfish me.

My parents tell me, "If you have nothing better to do, why be lazy?"

I think just the word itself is negative that even if you say it as a casual fun thing, it somehow becomes apart of you. Like calling someone stupid for instance; especially your own kids.

One MALAS leads to another MALAS. We need to JUST DO IT instead.
Life is too short to be wasted on the word MALAS.

Just a few minutes ago, a group of newbies stood in front of my cubicle. The HR Representative introduced them to the team, this is so and so... and that is so and so.

We have heard of this. 12 fresh graduates being hired into Engineering Graduate Program. In the midst of people being laid off, it seems that we need more people in the operation/project team to assist. They must be the chosen ones.

(Actually, it is quite true that there are a redundant of staffs in certain departments here; which is probably also why they're offering VSS to certain departments)

So anyways. Back to these newbies. You can see it in them; FRESH and EXCITED! You can feel their vibes; smilling and walking confidently. I smiled - as this really reminds me of my own self, 5 years back, also being absorbed into the same program. I was excited to enter this new chapter of my life. I was looking forward to finally start my career upon graduation.

Wow. Has it really been 5 years?

I have started naively. Introduced to the oil and gas industry during my first year. Got involved with a lot of projects. I was groomed well through this program and I have learnt a lot from all these experiences. I got married to someone I met here. I'm now a mummy. Oh wow. 5 years? Really?

I know that there are still a lot more that I can learn. Experience is always the best teacher. But the heart says otherwise. Never have I expected that I will be leaving my career to do something on my own, never! Yet, it feels right.

Maybe its my time now to be that newbie again, but in a different world. I can see it in myself, EXCITED!

I wish the newbies the very best in this new chapter of theirs. May they excel and always challenge themselves to be better. Keep the positive spirit going. Be someone. Contribute. Take responsibilities. Lead. In everything that they do.

I, on the other hand, will be opening a new chapter myself :)

#countingdays!

The drop in oil prices have brought impact to the economy; specifically the oil & gas industry. The company I'm working with now  (leaving in 2 weeks time weeehoooo) decided to scale down the number of employees to cope with this.

A few months back, we have heard of a number of staffs given the option of Voluntary Seperation Scheme (VSS) and took it. It seems to date, more than 40 staffs took the other option, the Mutual Seperation Scheme (MSS).

We are due to receive our annual bonus based on our Performance Management System (PMS) score in a few weeks time. Just 2 weeks back, some employees were given letters informing them that they are now under probation for nonperforming. These employees are not qualified to receive any bonus and were given 2 months to buck up and perform.

It seems that the performance bar for this year has been raised resulting to a number of people purposely being placed in this list, even though they score the same marks as their colleagues. These employees are being scapegoats maybe because they are the least important in the department; or maybe because they have made a mistake before; or maybe simply because his/her boss dislikes him/her.

The way I look at it, the company is trying to cut down their costs on the number of people receiving bonus. They are also trying to run away from paying them VSS/MSS by giving them 2 months probation and telling them in a nice way to look for an alternative job soon. In two months time, they will look at the situation of the oil price and the company and screen through the names again. You will not be released because you're not performing, but because you're not needed. They will find a way to proof it. Saying all this, is of course, just my opinion.

Sounds cruel right? But that is how a corporate company works I guess. Employees are looked as assets/liabilities. When you are not needed, you will be removed.  You are not looked at as human beings who have responsibilities, who have family members to support.

With all this happening, I keep telling myself many many times, again and again, how glad I am to have decided to create my own destiny out there, instead of staying here in this cubicle, listening to instructions and let the company decide when they need me and when they don't.

Employees positions are becoming even more vulnerable, with the Human Resource team monitoring punctuality and discipline. Bosses are working under stress and pressure, screaming and yelling to counterparts and also those below them. Its a mad jungle with wild animals and I'm glad to be leaving all this behind soon.

I pity those who are being victims of this situation. But I believe that Allah knows better. Each one of them will learn that there's a good reason behind all this, either sooner or later. I pray Allah give them strengths.

You know what. At the end of the day, it is God who provides.

When I attended a talk by Mufti Menk last 3 weeks on parenting, he pointed out something very true in our modern era of hi-tech.

With the smartphones, we spend so much time on these social medias (Facebook and Instagram and Twitter), just to keep ourselves occupied that it has become a habit.

Image from Google

Whether its 'going into the lift' or 'waiting for food to arrive at the restaurant' or even 'in the toilet'! It has become a habit to just click on the instagram logo and click refresh even if we just did that 5 minutes ago.

Menk puts our brain just like a computer - that it can only do so much in a day. He said that we've been spending too many space in the brain for unimportant things that we don't seem to have time for the important things like memorizing a surah from the Quran or to gain more knowledge to enable us to be better people - better Muslims. At the end of each day, we're just too tired to even reflect on our day. The excuse seem to be the same all the time  - I don't have enough time.

I was ashamed because I was one of those. It was time to set on some rules. He also reminded that if we want to see results in our child, we need to start with ourselves first. Since Aisya is still small, its best to just start right away. So we've decided that our new rule now is to not have phones on the table during meals. And not to play with our phones at traffic lights in the car. Me and and Mr can just go on and on talking and sharing ideas and perspective on things - on how to raise our child and our family - on Joe Flizzow and Vivy Yusof. Quality conversations.

However, that only lasted for 2 weeks and we're somehow back to our old habits back. Old habits do die hard! I'm not sure what's the power of these smartphones that just attracts you to just hold onto it and feel restless without it. I know for sure on of the reasons is because we're running an online store, so orders and enquiries come in various ways; facebook, instagram, whatsapp, emails. But we can limit a time to when we should check on them right? We should set a time!

I'm a little bit disappointed but I'm gonna take this as a reminder and a challenge that I can do this.

Lets.

House loans. Car loans. Study loans. Credit cards. Up to an extend, personal loans.

How did we end up living in this society depending on borrowing money to purchase things that we cannot afford? Moreover, we are being charged interests on money that we borrow.

The problem with loans & debts is that you have to live your life, everyday, owing money to another party. And its the idea of these parties charging interests that annoys me most.

The way I look at it, there are only 2 ways that we can live with financial freedom (i.e loan/debt free).

1. Live within your means. Take the public transport. Rent a house. Live happily. Debt-free. Worry-free.
2. Be rich. Work really hard and pray that God will bless you with all the money in the world that you can purchase things cash.

Two quite impossible extremes right? But that's just how the system is now. You can have your own house, car and run your own business and still worry about how many more years you're left with paying to the bank.

But you know what? I know people who can buy car and houses CASH - by late 30s or so. Just today, I was talking to a senior colleague of mine, who earns, maybe at least 15k, and still runs a business with his wife part time, telling me, "You know, our final goal is to reach that financial freedom. Get out of these loans," I've also once talked to a Proton salesman who tells me that there are many (Chinese mostly) who just comes and pay him cash to purchase cars. Their excuse: "I don't want to pay all these extra money to the bank," . Today, Mr also told me that his Chindian friend can afford a Honda and a semi-D house cash just like that. It is not impossible.

In Islam, we are encouraged strongly, to avoid having any debts. But surprisingly, we are the ones in Malaysia, taking the maximum number of years of loan, and buying luxury cars and bungalow houses,  even with that unpaid study loans and credit card bills, leaving behind very little (or none) of savings. I've known A LOT of friends who spends half of their monthly salary on a car! HALF! That's a lot! You're earning 4k and you spend 2k on your car? Seriously?!? What a waste.

Knowing all these people attaining financial freedom is new to me. I've always thought that to be able to purchase houses and cars, you just gotta borrow money from the bank.  And it excites me that financial freedom is NOT impossible. You've just gotta aim higher, work harder, and STOP depending on help.

There's that community in Malaysia, called the Shia, which is a group of Muslims that choose to believe things differently from the majority of the Muslims  - there's a whole different topic about them - anyways, despite their misguided belief on the companions of our Prophet (or something like that), they are TOTALLY against bank loans. They've got their own community, where the rich will combine their money and lend them to those who needs it for business purposes for instance, and when this particular borrower has succeed, he will then be one of those who will lend their money to another party. And it becomes a cycle. No interests. No commitments. Just pure brotherhood and family relationship filled with trust. No space of being selfish but just helping each other out - a win win situation. They're usually the Indian Muslims and you can see how many of them run successful businesses here in Malaysia.

I LOVE the idea of being loan & debt free but I'm not sure which of the two extremes I can take in reality. I've stopped using the credit card and I purchased a cheap car and keep my car loan years to the minimum year,  and I do not take any loans for my part-time online business. I work hard, and pray that God would bless me with the ability to just pay this car loan off. But I still need to think of a house too!

Our ultimate goal is to also reach that financial freedom when I'm 40, even better, when I'm 30. We will work towards that. Challenging, but possible.

InsyaAllah, with even more blessings, I would even want to establish that system of lending money to those who need it but without any interest. At the end of the day, the money we get is from Allah, and is to be shared right?

Most of my friends have gone through this dark phase in life, and then suddenly appreciate this other brighter side of it. They've partied hard, enjoyed limitlessly, and then they decide that they're done with all that and settle down.

Some of us don't go through life to the extremes. I for instance, have been going through life moderately, within the grey area. Not too goody-goody and not too naughty as well.

I've always been happy the way I am, the way I live. I'm happy at how moderate and well-balanced my life is. I have never really wanted to try to 'fit-in' or 'blend' in with the crowd, no matter how diverse they are from me.

But I can't help but wonder: Do we really have to go through that extreme phase in life? Everyone seems to be going through it that and there's thoughts in my head, wondering,  "What if I wake up one day and realize that I haven't live life to the fullest? That I haven't experience all that life has to offer? That I suddenly go out partying at the age of 40?" That would be crazy!

I hope if I do wake up with a sudden thought in my head, the thought would be:

"Is Allah satisfied?"

or

"What have you invested in this life for your afterlife?"

Hah take that yo! Heeeee ;)

Life is a balancing act. via Up In The Stars