I was talking to a girlfriend of mine earlier, talking about how we've moved from our uni years - to now having kids of our own. 

It's funny how when we were in uni, we both thought that we might end up with the guy that we were dating at that time. I didn't, and she, on the other hand, got divorced. How naive we were, thinking that marriage - is the happily ever after. 

Sometimes you see perfect couples (on instagram, obviously), and you wonder, if every other couple is as happy as that, and that only you're the only ones with issues. And then suddenly, the next thing you know, those happily married couples you see on instagram, are actually having bigger issues, like infidelities for instance. Truth is, every marriage has its struggles.

Being married feels like you're carrying such a big responsibility, I feel. Sometimes I miss those times when I was single, with no responsibilities of being a mother and a wife.  Those days, you think you're in love with your boyfriend, and then you get married, and then you live happily ever after right (boooo to all those disney princesses fairy tales!) - but no! It's just the start of the journey it seems. 

"Why do you think people say that getting married is separuh dari agama?" she said. "It's because you have to fight for it, fight for your Jannah," - MasyaAllah. So so true indeed. How can you think, that things will be perfect here in this Dunya? Nothing is, you will have to struggle, and fight for your place in Jannah. All those challenges that Allah throw to you, you are expected to reach out to Him, and then be a better Muslim, and insyaAllah go through things smoothly. 

Does it mean that there shouldn't be happiness in marriage? Or in life in general? I don't know. You tell me. 

Running a business, keeping the house organized, taking care of the kids, making sure that they're good caliphs of this Dunya, carry out your responsibility as a wife - sometimes it all feels very overwhelming, like you're swimming in this sea of big waves, just struggling to keep afloat. It feels like you're a zombie, just going through your days. 

Do we do things because of responsibilities? Or because of love?