When it comes to Zaahara, I visualize a lot. My imagination usually can only stretch to 2 years most. No 5 years plan whatsoever. So far, alhamdulillah, Zaahara have achieved some of things that I've imagined. I remember that everytime I get nearer to a goal, there will always be some hiccup and I will still push and try hard to make my dream a reality.

For 2015, I have a dream for Zaahara. However, I really didn't expect that the opportunity came this early of the year. EVERYTHING was perfect. Just like how I imagined. Everything seems to fall in place, except, financially. However, as what Blake Mycoskie, the founder of Toms shoes, wrote in his book, you can never get all traffic light to be green at the same time. The window of opportunity is very small and so, you have to grab the chance whenever you see it.

So, we worked something out to assist us financially.

We did more research over the weekend and I started contacting the right people. Even showed my parents and in laws on the idea to get their blessings and to get some feedbacks. They were also in favour of the idea, thinking that its a good one!

And then yesterday, just before signing the deal, it turns out that I was late by a few hours. Someone else had grabbed the opportunity.

The minute I heard the news, I was speechless. And then, I cried. I cried pretty bad. Like suddenly, my dream was shattered into pieces. Like suddenly, there's that hole there.

It feels like this: You meet this right guy, and everything is good, your families click, he's got all the right characteristics and then you proceed on with engagement and all and suddenly on the wedding day, he met with an accident. Like pfffttttttt! All hopes, gone!

Sometimes, Allah can give you very very high hopes. And then suddenly, he just takes it away just like that. Just to remind you that, this is dunya. Just to tell you to 'work harder'! - I have a better plan for you. You just wait and see! Yes, we did pray that if this is good for us, make it easier. If not, don't. So there is a reason behind this. In fact, I know all this. Its just that, that feeling of dissappointment, you know.

I have a feeling that Allah is giving us a pause, to look for even more money for Zaahara for it to grow and keep on spreading the Deen, instead of depending on other parties. I have a feeling that the opportunity will come again, when we are ready, maybe another 3-4 more months to come. Probably the same opportunity, probably better. At the time being, its time to get aggressive with our efforts!