As I walked slowly into the mosque, with my husband by my side, my heart was beating faster and faster, with the words of my father-in-law in my head:

“Whoever sees the Kaabah for the first time, the prayers said right at that moment will be granted, insyaAllah..”

And the minute I saw it, I just stood there. As I read my prayers quietly in my heart while looking at it, I cried…and cried..I’m not too sure if it’s the feeling of surreal-ness of if it’s the prayers that I said in my heart, which something that I deeply desire from Allah - but I cried uncontrollably.

I looked at my husband next to me, who said his prayers aloud, and then we both said “Amin…” and smiled each other. Syukur Alhamdulillah..I’m finally here at your house O Allah.

I was also told that honest prayers (du’a) carried out at Hijr Ismail will also be answered, insyaAllah. Hijr Ismail is a small horse-shoe shaped area – cramped with people praying. I carried out a solat hajat, asking Allah to please please please give me a chance to pray there.

I walked towards Hijr Ismail, all the while praising Allah through Zikr, and then with confidence I walked towards it, and all the way, the journey was smooth, Alhamdulillah! Somehow, the crowd magically let me pass through and I even managed to conduct 2 rakaat sunnah prayer without any obstruction of people kicking me or pushing me..masyaAllah. At that moment, I cried..cried even harder.. because at that moment, I felt something that I’ve heard many times before and THOUGHT that I understood it. At that particular moment, I felt FAITH.

As a Muslim, we are taught that Faith is believing the existence of Allah and that the last Messenger of Allah is Nabi Muhammad (PBUH) – which is our kalimah syahadah. Yes I’ve always believed that and never doubt it.. but what I felt at that particular moment, was just unexplainable – it was a feeling of satisfaction – of contentment- of greatness! – masyaAllah. I just couldn’t stop crying, I was crying like a baby! Alhamdulillah – thank you Allah for letting me find YOU there.

Lets try putting this in words – FAITH – is believing and feeling the existence of Allah, and then we conduct our daily action or we pray with confidence that HE will assist us here in this world and that HE will reward (or punish) us for the options we make here. With confidence of Allah, the world will crawl under us, trust me it will. BUT you need to have the confidence, the faith…and the approval (redha) that if it doesn’t happen, there will always be a GOOD reason why – you may see it here in this world or in the hereafter. Have faith, and you will be satisfied and happy, insyaAllah.

I may have travelled all over the world but in Makkah, I found something that I’ve been looking for.. and I pray that this feeling will stay on.. and that the Kaabah will always be in my heart..to remind of of that precious moment.

Allahu Akbar.

Me and Mr. upon arrival at Jeddah Hajj airport.

The crowd pushing in to enter Gua Hira' at Jabar Nur.

The view from Abraj tower - thanks to my aunty for one night there

The different types of Kurma sold at the markets.

Mr. met his long lost brother.