"Zaahara (our company) needs you," Mr. reminded me again one day.

It was then that we decided to start looking for a helper to look after the kids while I attend to work. 

I really wasn't looking for a maid in particular. I was open to anything. I just needed someone to look after my kids, even until noon, so that I can actually spend quality work time. 

We looked at hiring a fulltime maid, but the 15k amount downpayment to the agent was a little too much for us now (thanks Malaysia maid policy!). There were a lot of 5k options but they're not genuine agents you see, I might risk losing both, the maid AND the 5k. 

We visited a nursery/daycare center in our area last week, and they were charging RM700 for one whole day. Price was within our budget. But the nursery? Way out of our expectation. Babies were left lying on the mattress on the floor. There were 5-6 caretakers looking after about 50 kids (?!?). Place was dirty. I just cried after leaving the place, questioning myself, "Do I really need money that badly that I would send my kids there?"

"No, definitely not,"

So, that was out of the option too.

For the past month too, I asked everyone I met, if there's anyone who would want to work with us, I don't mind daily, she doesn't have to sleep in! Had a couple of maybes, but not entirely yes. Almost! But terlepas.

Last week, we had a possible yes. Thanks to my mom's helper, who asked a cleaner, who asked her friend. We called her over. And yes, she's interested! However, she's 2 months pregnant! "Oklah - temporarily," I told myself. I was sooo happy that God answered our prayers, and that it was a perfect ending to 2016.

And then on Monday, she didn't turned up! I was devastated I cried so badly. I just didn't expect a helper not turning up can make me cry like that! LOL.

Now, I'm back to square one.

Help!