I try to picture a girl
Through a looking glass
See her as a carbon atom
See her eyes and stare back at them
See that girl
As her own new world
Though a home is on the surface, she is still a universe
Glory God, oh God is peeking through the blinds
Are we all here standing naked
Taking guesses at the actual date and time
Oh my, justifying reasons why
Is an absolutely insane resolution to live by
Live high
Live mighty
Live righteously
Takin it easy
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| by Mraz |
Mr. said I should be dating since I am single, with no strings attached. Hmmm.. maybe I should. Just date anyone. Any recommendations? No criterias. Keeping the options open. Hehehe.
Yes. I have finally decided to not wear the hijab. I really felt that I wasn't ready for it. I realized that wearing the hijab isn't just about covering the head. It comes with a lot more. It's about dressing appropriately, it's about 'jaga perangai'. It's about representing and being a right muslimah.
Mungkin keimananku masih belum kuat. Aku masih lagi terpengaruh dengan duniawi.
I tried. I did. And I lasted for 5 months.
I always knew that I'd one day wear the hijab. Maybe when Mr. encouraged me, I felt excited, as it has always been what I wanted to do. And at that point, I really felt I was ready. I told myself "Just do it!" without thinking long ahead. In just one week, I started buying shawls and scarfs, and then I just wore them. Maybe I was too extreme. Maybe I should have prepared myself for it, mentally and physically. Maybe. I don't know, I really don't know.
When I think about it, those times people asked me, "Is this permanent?", I replied, "InsyaAllah, try dulu. Kalau tak ready, nanti bukak balik,". That statement itself has shows that I was giving it a try. I just didn't expect that it'll go as far as 5 months.
Initially, I thought of not-wearing them outside of the office as I was afraid of what others might say, then I felt like a hypocrite. Mr. also said, "Kita jangan malu and takut dengan manusia, malu and takut dengan Tuhan," As expected, there were many weird stares and gossips around.
I will have to agree with Mr's statement. Wearing the hijab is a very good thing. People around should be encouraging each other. You congratulate us when we give it a try, but when we fail, you penalize us for it. You talk behind our backs. What you should've done is, "It's okay, you tried. Try harder the next time," and then keep on encouraging us to wear the hijab. This kind of busy-body gossip people only make it harder for other girls out there to even attempt to try covering up. It's either you wear it or you don't. No trying. No.
Maybe many are used to wearing the hijab; either in school or from small, but for someone like me, who has never wear them other than during religious occasion, it really isn't an easy change. I needed a lot of support and change in lifestyle.
Aku akan cuba, untuk menguatkan lagi keimananku ini, dan bila sudah rasa cukup bersedia, insyaAllah, aku akan mula berhijab. Please, pray for me.
No. I'm not proud of this. But I am proud that I managed to wear them for 5 months and insyaAllah one day, permanently :)
Mungkin keimananku masih belum kuat. Aku masih lagi terpengaruh dengan duniawi.
I tried. I did. And I lasted for 5 months.
I always knew that I'd one day wear the hijab. Maybe when Mr. encouraged me, I felt excited, as it has always been what I wanted to do. And at that point, I really felt I was ready. I told myself "Just do it!" without thinking long ahead. In just one week, I started buying shawls and scarfs, and then I just wore them. Maybe I was too extreme. Maybe I should have prepared myself for it, mentally and physically. Maybe. I don't know, I really don't know.
When I think about it, those times people asked me, "Is this permanent?", I replied, "InsyaAllah, try dulu. Kalau tak ready, nanti bukak balik,". That statement itself has shows that I was giving it a try. I just didn't expect that it'll go as far as 5 months.
Initially, I thought of not-wearing them outside of the office as I was afraid of what others might say, then I felt like a hypocrite. Mr. also said, "Kita jangan malu and takut dengan manusia, malu and takut dengan Tuhan," As expected, there were many weird stares and gossips around.
I will have to agree with Mr's statement. Wearing the hijab is a very good thing. People around should be encouraging each other. You congratulate us when we give it a try, but when we fail, you penalize us for it. You talk behind our backs. What you should've done is, "It's okay, you tried. Try harder the next time," and then keep on encouraging us to wear the hijab. This kind of busy-body gossip people only make it harder for other girls out there to even attempt to try covering up. It's either you wear it or you don't. No trying. No.
Maybe many are used to wearing the hijab; either in school or from small, but for someone like me, who has never wear them other than during religious occasion, it really isn't an easy change. I needed a lot of support and change in lifestyle.
Aku akan cuba, untuk menguatkan lagi keimananku ini, dan bila sudah rasa cukup bersedia, insyaAllah, aku akan mula berhijab. Please, pray for me.
No. I'm not proud of this. But I am proud that I managed to wear them for 5 months and insyaAllah one day, permanently :)
Fuhh....I paid $ 6k for my credit card today and I am officially free. Yeah! what a relief. From now onwards, it's all about using cash unless if I know I can pay back credit card without delaying it. Tomorrow onwards, cash will be the king. No money, no talk.
I had a phone call from HSBC on last week saying that they are offering me loan for my settlement. However, I told them that I don't need additional debts and I am paying off my debts using my bonus. So I am glad that I am finally debt free!! To hell with credit card. Oppss. I still haven't cancel it but I will keep it for business purposes this time. No more pleasure.
Lesson learn :
Rich people knows the value of the money and they will not spend unnecessarily. The poor and the average however, will spend as if they have the means to splurge. It's the credit card that has been the culprit all this while.
Today marked the day where my gf finally decided to open her tudung. She's been wearing tudung for almost 5 months plus which is actually a good thing. People thought that she's been wearing tudung because of me which I know it was from her. Opps. I was wrong. I was partly the one that influenced her to wear tudung. Ok. It was an agreement. I stop smoking and she wears tudung. However, my quitting program only lasted for 3 months (Jan - Mac). So she actually wins in this case.
Today in the office, there are a few who just look at her as if they saw a zombie. Hey, what is wrong here? She didn't wear bikini to office. She just open up her tudung. One colleague even ask her " are u ok with him? U guys broken up?" Come on. I paused when I heard this. Must it always be like this? She answered "nolah. I just felt I am not ready". That's the right thing.
One thing to ponder. Everyone seems to be judgmental instead of being supportive. Maybe that's the Malay mentality. This is one of the reason why our Muslim sisters are worried when they want to wear the tudung. They might want to try to wear it and my open up again if they feel it's not the time. Society shouldn't be too harsh but instead be supportive.
We men always assume that tudung is just a tudung. Though it's compulsory for the women to cover up, it's not really easy. Here comes the word 'hidayah'. We must always pray for the best and may God open up the heart for us to be able to wear the tudung.
I wish my girlfriend all the best as tudung or not, you are still you. Care less about what people think as our society is full of hypocrites. One day, by God's will, u will wear tudung again. Amin.
I just realised one big thing about me in 2011. Attitude. Attitude is a big thing in todays life as it can bring u up and bring u down at any time.
What is attitude that I am referring to? I have a dreams. multiple dreams. The sad part is I just let it be a dream instead of focusing it and try to make it a reality. I have been reading stuffs online about people who achieve something big in their life. Most of them are not born extraordinary of with silver spoon. They dream and have the desire to achieve something which other people have.
The reason why they can achieve something is because they have the attitude. A strong and positive attitude which lead them to where they are.
Someone like me, always wants to be spoon fed and will be angry/ emotional if things doesn't come as I command/ like. I complain and and just let the negative feelings/thoughts control my emotions. How is that helping me? God, thank you so much for letting me realize my mistake. It's not about others. It's just me who created obstacles in this life. Work, relationship, financial. 2011, is just a year where I realize my mistake which I never realize.
One old man once advise me " Be moderate in life. Surely you will achieve your dream." When I compare that statement and myself, I notice that I am just someone who is so extreme and excited about something without thinking long enough. I don't plan for success. I dream of success but never plan for it. One of the famous quote "Someone who don't plan, is planning to fail"
2011, is just a year where I will gather back my strength and plan for something better. No waiting and just do it. I have been slow in these few years and maybe God is finally giving me this opportunity to come back and be a champion which my beloved surroundings always said.
2012 is not about doomsday as the movie is, it's a bout me making a comeback. A historic comeback.
Welcome back. Cheers!
I'm on a 2-days study leave. Just like last week, need to keep some of the thoughts in my head for a few days, and only think about my coming two papers. Two more papers! Then I'm done with my second semester. And then...One more sem to go!
When showing affection in relationships, men can generally be divided into:
1. Men with Actions
2. Men with Words
I have dated both kind of men and both has its pros and cons.
Men with Actions.
This kind of men shows their feelings through their actions. They hold your hands (if can, all the time!), they give you gifts, they appear at your doorstep for breakfasts, they bring you out for dates, throw you unexpected surprises, wakes you up in the morning. BUT, they rarely express their feelings. They don’t tell you how much you mean to them, and if so, maybe on occasions. You will rarely get compliments from them. They don’t tell you that they’re hurt or they’re jealous but they show it to you. When they’re angry, they show it by being cold towards you. Or by crossing their arms. When they’re happy, they show it by hugging you. Or by giving you kisses. They believe that by calling us up, it shows that they miss us. And they don’t say it. Most of the time, you will have to ask them on how they feel.
I noticed also, that these kind of men, have more of the testosterone hormones. They’re the macho ones, who find expressing feelings, a sissy thing to do. They usually have more brothers in their family, and are usually much closer to their dads.
Because these kind of men rarely express their feelings, when we tell them our feelings, they take it deeply. They remember every promises we make, they take our words seriously. Never say something you don’t mean, just because it sounds nice, they’ll take it straight to their hearts.
Men with Words
These are the kinds of men that expresses their feelings when in relationships. They're the sweet-talkers. Yes, who says sweet-talkers cannot be in serious relationships? :p
From the start, men with words, woo you through their words. Throughout the relationship, they do the same. They tell you that you look pretty, that you’re the most amazing girl in the world, and that you’re his princess. Sometimes they mean it, sometimes they don’t. But even when they don’t mean it, it’s always nice to hear, haha. They will call you up just to say that they love you, or that they miss you. But they will not be calling you often. Don’t expect them to make handmade cards for you, or propose you in the most romantic way. Don’t expect many surprises from them, because they will surprise you unexpectedly – in their cutest way. They tell you when they’re angry/hurt/jealous, they say sorry (this is precious), they send you random sweet text messages.
Because these kind of men rarely show their affection through actions, when you do something for them, it means the world to them. Even picking them up for a random supper session would mean something to them! Don’t bother so much in telling them that you love them more than the seas and the higher than the skies because they take words lightly. Vice versa; don’t put high hopes in their sweet promises.
As opposed to men with actions, these kind of men are usually very close to their mums. They usually have more sisters. No, they’re not sissy, but they are usually soft-hearted, manja, and has a reasonably amount of ego.
It’s not about which type of men loves us more or which ones are better. They just have different ways in showing their love. I think it's important to know your type of men, in order keep a considerable expectation and also to know the key in winning their hearts ;)
When dating a man with actions, his random ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ would mean a lot to us. On the other hand, when dating a man with words, his random simple actions of ‘buying you ice-cream’ or ‘writing you a note’ means a lot. Like I said, both has its pros and cons.
So, which one is yours? Which type do you prefer? I have chosen mine and so far, still learning to adapt to expectations and loving the 'randoms' :D
1. Men with Actions
2. Men with Words
I have dated both kind of men and both has its pros and cons.
Men with Actions.
This kind of men shows their feelings through their actions. They hold your hands (if can, all the time!), they give you gifts, they appear at your doorstep for breakfasts, they bring you out for dates, throw you unexpected surprises, wakes you up in the morning. BUT, they rarely express their feelings. They don’t tell you how much you mean to them, and if so, maybe on occasions. You will rarely get compliments from them. They don’t tell you that they’re hurt or they’re jealous but they show it to you. When they’re angry, they show it by being cold towards you. Or by crossing their arms. When they’re happy, they show it by hugging you. Or by giving you kisses. They believe that by calling us up, it shows that they miss us. And they don’t say it. Most of the time, you will have to ask them on how they feel.
I noticed also, that these kind of men, have more of the testosterone hormones. They’re the macho ones, who find expressing feelings, a sissy thing to do. They usually have more brothers in their family, and are usually much closer to their dads.
Because these kind of men rarely express their feelings, when we tell them our feelings, they take it deeply. They remember every promises we make, they take our words seriously. Never say something you don’t mean, just because it sounds nice, they’ll take it straight to their hearts.
Men with Words
These are the kinds of men that expresses their feelings when in relationships. They're the sweet-talkers. Yes, who says sweet-talkers cannot be in serious relationships? :p
From the start, men with words, woo you through their words. Throughout the relationship, they do the same. They tell you that you look pretty, that you’re the most amazing girl in the world, and that you’re his princess. Sometimes they mean it, sometimes they don’t. But even when they don’t mean it, it’s always nice to hear, haha. They will call you up just to say that they love you, or that they miss you. But they will not be calling you often. Don’t expect them to make handmade cards for you, or propose you in the most romantic way. Don’t expect many surprises from them, because they will surprise you unexpectedly – in their cutest way. They tell you when they’re angry/hurt/jealous, they say sorry (this is precious), they send you random sweet text messages.
Because these kind of men rarely show their affection through actions, when you do something for them, it means the world to them. Even picking them up for a random supper session would mean something to them! Don’t bother so much in telling them that you love them more than the seas and the higher than the skies because they take words lightly. Vice versa; don’t put high hopes in their sweet promises.
As opposed to men with actions, these kind of men are usually very close to their mums. They usually have more sisters. No, they’re not sissy, but they are usually soft-hearted, manja, and has a reasonably amount of ego.
It’s not about which type of men loves us more or which ones are better. They just have different ways in showing their love. I think it's important to know your type of men, in order keep a considerable expectation and also to know the key in winning their hearts ;)
When dating a man with actions, his random ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ would mean a lot to us. On the other hand, when dating a man with words, his random simple actions of ‘buying you ice-cream’ or ‘writing you a note’ means a lot. Like I said, both has its pros and cons.
So, which one is yours? Which type do you prefer? I have chosen mine and so far, still learning to adapt to expectations and loving the 'randoms' :D
"Kalau hendak berubah, berubahlah bukan kerana manusia tetapi berubah kerana Allah.Kalau berubah kerana manusia, takut satu hari nanti, kita kalah.Kalau berubah kerana Allah, Insya Allah bleh menang."
Kesimpulan dari ayat di atas :
Ada je orang yang kita nampak berubah sebab manusia bukan sebab Allah. TAPI, pernah tak kita terfikir sekiranya Allah hantar manusia itu untuk membantu seseorang itu berubah? Memang ada orang yang berubah sebab manusia dan akhirnya kembali ke jalan hitam seperti sebelum itu kerana hubungannya dengan manusia itu berakhir.
Apa gunanya akal fikiran? Akal adalah untuk kita membezakan yang baik dan yang buruk. Sekiranya kita dapati sesorang itu berubah disebabkan manusia, kita sepatutnya buka mata dan bersyukur dengan perubahan itu. Itulah dinamakan hidayah. Hidayah Allah ini ada bermacam- macam.
Manusia ini memang susah hendak tengok perubahan orang lain. Pelik, tapi benar. Lagi- lagi kaum Melayu kita. Aku tak suka hendak bercerita buruk pasal kaum sendiri, tapi itu adalah hakikatnya.Sekiranya kita hendak jadi kaum yang berjaya di negara sendiri atau di dunia, kita kenalah buang dan kikis jauh-jauh sifat- sifat keji yang tuhan tak suka,
Buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih. Cermin- cerminlah diri itu sebelum hendak memberi nasihat.
Kesimpulan dari ayat di atas :
Ada je orang yang kita nampak berubah sebab manusia bukan sebab Allah. TAPI, pernah tak kita terfikir sekiranya Allah hantar manusia itu untuk membantu seseorang itu berubah? Memang ada orang yang berubah sebab manusia dan akhirnya kembali ke jalan hitam seperti sebelum itu kerana hubungannya dengan manusia itu berakhir.
Apa gunanya akal fikiran? Akal adalah untuk kita membezakan yang baik dan yang buruk. Sekiranya kita dapati sesorang itu berubah disebabkan manusia, kita sepatutnya buka mata dan bersyukur dengan perubahan itu. Itulah dinamakan hidayah. Hidayah Allah ini ada bermacam- macam.
Manusia ini memang susah hendak tengok perubahan orang lain. Pelik, tapi benar. Lagi- lagi kaum Melayu kita. Aku tak suka hendak bercerita buruk pasal kaum sendiri, tapi itu adalah hakikatnya.Sekiranya kita hendak jadi kaum yang berjaya di negara sendiri atau di dunia, kita kenalah buang dan kikis jauh-jauh sifat- sifat keji yang tuhan tak suka,
Buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih. Cermin- cerminlah diri itu sebelum hendak memberi nasihat.
