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Today, I would like to talk about that piece of cloth that covers my head, the hijaab (or tudung or shawl as some may call it). As some of you may know, I started wearing the hijaab back in 2011. A decision that I made just randomly and suddenly. And then, I removed it that same year.

I wore it again, after getting married to Mr. and Alhamdulillah, now I feel ashamed of even thinking of removing it again. Now, I'm on a journey of really covering my aurat, not just by putting a piece of cloth over my head, but trying my best to dress modestly and decently.

Mr. on the other hand, has been keeping his beard ever since we got married, to practice following the sunnah of our beloved Prophet (PBUH).

Both, the beard and the hijaab, is more like an identity we carry as Muslims. Like a uniform.
We both noticed how when we meet another brother or sister with a beard or in a hijaab, we can gladly give our salams - like a secret code to say - hey, we're the same!

Image: https://blogofthebeardedone.files.wordpress.com


Little did I know, Mr. confessed to me a few days ago, "Do you know that I have thought of shaving off my beard a few times before? Especially when the beard is in the growing stage, when it looks all scruffy and messy? Teringin jugak nak rasa macam dulu, looking young and good without the beard,"

It hit me that the same thing happened to me during that first attempt of wearing the hijaab. Teringin rasa macam nak stylo mylo dengan rambut balik, takdalah rasa macam makcik sangat....

My mom confessed the same thing too! Bila I tengok kawan-kawan I semua bergaya dengan rambut, I memang terpikir nak bukak tudung masa baru pakai dulu....

Oh, the challenge you go through when you want to change!

And then when you've conquered your mind, magically, the hijaab and the beard just fits you, and just be apart of you. And then you move on to improving yourself in other areas.

So you know what? Just. Stop. Criticizing. Others. Who. Wants. To. Change.

That self-battle that they have to go through. And even if they fail, keep making doa for them. We all wanna be a better person everyday.

My point here is that both men and women have their own versions of hijaab.

So ladies, lets start dressing up modestly, and men, stop judging the ladies and criticizing them about not covering up properly, and start growing your beard please! That's YOUR hijaab!

May Allah reward us for our intentions and for our istiqomahs in strenghtening our imaan!


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A LOT has happened from the last time I updated my blog.

We have now moved to our new house, back to Subang Jaya (looks like I cannot seem to get out of this town!) where everything is accessible and nearby. Our place in Shah Alam is now under airbnb (check it out here). Little Luqman will be turning 4 months in 4 more days. Aisya is being such a loving and caring sister, that sometimes it annoys his brother hihi, too much kisses Kakak!

As for me? Oh now, I'm like a Working-At-Home-Mom (WAHM) - or MOMpreneur - whichever fits well.

The idea of moving back to Subang Jaya is because Zaahara's office is here in SS15, Aisya's school is also here, and my parents place is also nearby. The plan post pantang initially was to send Aisya off to school in the morning and then the little one to my mom's, while me and Mr. head to the office to get work done.

During the pantang period, my mom and sister ventured into opening up a dessert bar (check it out here), and so my mom will not be as free as she was with Aisya - and so was her house helper. It was during those times that I knew, things will be different this time around - we will have to be entirely independent.

So what is our daily routine, typically?

Luqman wakes me up for Fajr (yes, the baby is our alarm clock hehe). Around 8am, I wake Aisya up to get her ready for school. About 8.30am, Mr. sends her off to school and then later pick her up at noon. As for me, I sometimes follow him to the office if there's work needed to be done there, or sometimes, I stay home, and work from home. Luqman? Follows me where-ever I go.

I divide my time at home between work, doing house chores, and also spending time with the kids. Since me and Mr. are both running the business at the moment, our responsibilities at home are being shared too. Mr. has been very helpful! - helping out doing the laundry, sweeping and mopping the floor, washing the dishes, and sometimes bathing the kids.

"I need you to help out with Zaahara because it is growing, and I cannot do this myself. So, I will also help out with the house and the kids. We're a team, in the office and at home, " Mr. told me.

Don't I get tired?

Juggling all these is definitely tiring - but I try not to think about it but just do it. We are both growing the company and so sacrifices need to be made until the company is financially stable. And you know what's even tiring? Not having a boss (ha-ha) - not having that person to tell you what to do and that you have to constantly self-motivate and set your own datelines and schedules.

However, we're both enjoying every bit of it! Getting to spend that amount of time with my kids and watching them grow and develop - I wouldn't have it any other way. I also like the fact that I now get to cook for my family (something that I really enjoyed doing back in my uni years and missing when I was working 9-5 in that corporate office) - and provide my child with fresh home cooked food, and monitor her nutrition diet.

To be honest, I got a little off guard when we first moved in. I guess because I was a little pampered before, with the help from mom. And also because it never ever occured to me before, that I will be doing all these housework, ourselves - and then take full care of the kids - ourselves. I just never saw myself to be that kind of person.

Hey, you cannot get everything in this world, can you?

Alhamdulillah, after 2 months, I've also settled to a routine that I'm comfortable with. What's important is that my mindset has also switched and I'm happy with how things are now - alhough still settling in.

However, that thought of hiring a fulltime house helper? Yes, that's still there at the back of my head! Probably 1-2 years down the road insyaAllah.




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About me

Erina Ellias

Muslim mom-preneur of 2 kids. Co-Founder of zaahara.com.

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