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Aisya turned two last two weeks.

At this age, she develops really really fast. Picking her up from my mom's after work, she seems to be learning something new EVERYDAY.

I asked her the other day, "Where are we going, Aisya?" "Mosh!" (referring to mosque). "Nak yayang...A'an.." (Translation: Nak sembahyang, quran...")..Oooo, melts my heart!

Last week, we passed by a truck and she said "Bye truck, see you later!," in her ke-pelat-an way. First time hearing such a long sentence from her!

She even picked up a new dance move; The Chicken Dance! (LOL)

Mom also tells me that she can now swim on her own in the big pool with the float on. (She was a little scared to let go of our hands before this if she can't feel her feet touching the floor)

However, despite all the fun and the excitement of the steep development, do you know that parents usually call this phase 'The Terrible Two'?  I would like to call this phase Testing-the-parents-patience phase. Hihi.

Last night, Aisya took her milk bottle and started tilting it and pouring milk on the bed. I told her, "Aisya, pls, no! Nanti basah katil ni," and took the bottle away from her.

She laughed. Took the bottle again, and poured some more milk on the mattress. "No, Aisya! Mummy said No! Nanti mummy cubit nanti,"

She just said "Bit, bit..." and then had this smirk on the face. She looked at my eyes. And then slowly took the bottle again. With my eyes stilled on hers, and with an even more firm voice I said "Mummy said no," She kept her eyes focus on mine, and her hands still taking the bottle, with this body language telling me that "Hmm.. I'm gonna do this mummy, I'm gonna do this again, Haha. I don't care mummy, this is fun," and she poured the milk again.

I took the bottle from her and pinched her on her hands. She looked at me and took the bottle from the table again! And poured again!

I finally grabbed the bottle from her and pinched her on her waist.

This time around, she understood. She kept quiet, and then cried. She cried so badly.

I know it wasn't painful, it was just a tiny pinch!

After calming her down, and changed her clothes, I squat down and told her, "When mummy say no, you cannot do it okay Aisya. If mummy say no, can you do it?"

She shook her head.

"Okay, good girl. Now say sorry mummy,"

"Sorry,"

And then I hugged and kissed her. And then suddenly she started running around, and then back to playing with her Lego.

Me on the other hand? I felt like I was the worst mummy ever! I'm even feeling guilty about it now, the next day and I can't stop thinking abou it.

But I guess, sometimes you gotta be firm when it comes to teaching your children. This is the phase when kids should be taught on discipline.

But the question here is, "Is it okay to use physical punishment as a way to discipline your child?" "How would you tell them that no means no?" Share me your views please!



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The weirdest thing happened last week. My father-in-law called us, to ask if it's okay that he remarries.

[insert long awkward silent moment]

Ever since my mother-in-law passed away in October last year, many people have been asking him if he's going to remarry. He's 58 years old now, and so people think that he's got a long way to go, if Allah permits of course.

Last two weeks, Mr's family and my family went for a holiday in Alor Setar. We stayed over at my uncle's place there. My uncle is 75 years old, and my aunty is 70 years old. Their children are all in KL, working and settling down with their new family in KL. Within our few days of stay there, we can see how loving they were. Laughing together while watching the tv, like all of us were invisible. Absorbed in deep conversations. Purely in love.

On the way back to KL, my father-in-law said, "I'm only 58.. I've got another 17 years to reach his age. Will I be growing old alone?" Little did we know that this leads on to whats next. We're not sure if he has found someone to marry back then or if he started looking for someone after that. But it was exactly a week after, that he came to us with this question. "Ok tak kalau ayah kawin lagi?"

It took Mr and his sisters some time to absorb the news. Especially because it has only been 5 months since their mother left them. I told them this, "Don't look at this lady as someone who will replace your mom, because no one can every replace Mak. Look at this lady as your dad's companion. Someone to be his friend, his peneman at home, penceria, while we all are busy with our lives,"

Because the truth is, can we, sacrifice all that we have, just to stay home with our parents? Even our parents will not allow that to happen. Yes we can go over for dinner after work, stayover during the weekends, but can we be there all the time with them? To cook for them and bring them around? Sometimes we have to think more than ourselves. Not everything is about us.

Alhamdulillah, we have all accepted that this will be happening, sooner or later. We met up with her and her kids last night, and we all seem to click okay.

Will I be getting a new mother-in-law soon? Will I also be getting another 4 more siblings-in-law?



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Erina Ellias

Muslim mom-preneur of 2 kids. Co-Founder of zaahara.com.

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